He was a good man…

He was a good man….right?
He was really a good man…
You said this either with confidence or by guess,
But something was to be said, during his last rites
If you would have kept silent, people would have doubted your goodness and if he would have heard,
he would have gone crazy with happiness.
Anyway, tell me this. If he was good then why his goodness was not compensated?
He has been asking questions all this week then why his questions were not answered?
whenever he asked, if his life would consist of anything apart from relationships or not…
And you laughed it off and replied, “Man, would you say something apart from this or not?”
I wish, you had evaluated all his moments of laughter and happiness, sadness and cries
I wish, you had turned back to see him, every time you said good bye, you would have known
That after you met him, he had never gone back home
On his face, the sadness always used to roam…
On the roadside, next to tree, he used to sit and cry…
You knew this right, that he was always a bit distant, a bit different from all of us?
But did you know he lay on his bed at home, and stared at the ceiling and the fan for hours…
He always used to say, let us meet, just me and you
All the things i told no one i will sit and tell you….
You sent him 2-4 whatsapp jokes, along with the laughing emoji…You always thought that he will hold and tall he will stand..and if not, he is a good man, he will surely understand…
He reads everything you wrote and thought to himself, why is it only me who wishes to end this life?
Why is there nobody at all, who needs me to be part of their life?
You wish you had sat him down and would have made him realise
You wish without reason you would have embraced him and made him feel nice…
You wish you knew he fainted intentionally with an empty stomach, you wish you knew why he suddenly turned quiet in between conversations…
You wish you have fought with him for his own good, you wish you read what he wrote in his diary, if you could….
Then you would know that his eyes really dint have many dreams.
He was there for many, but there was’nt anyone for him it seems….
We wish we would have reached his house to visit so that he would have thought twice before opening that bottle of pills…
They say that relations are binding, so his house has those two chains…
The table that had the bottle of pills, was also home to his parents’ photo frame
There were no closed ones around him…Every good friend was close to his heart, but none were around him…
This time, he picked his life’s way towards death
This time, he found it appropriate to go away forever…but whilst leaving, he kept learning in his last days, he kept writing his story.
“That, this is my decision don’t involve any of my friends in this..Don’t think that I’ll still be troubled after I am gone”
And you, when you got your life completely..You got the news of his expiry..
Then you believed that he always said the truth and now clad in white cloth, he tells the world that he is a good man…
You have come here to prove your own goodness, you’re angel, you’re God, different from everybody..
But when he was here, you never met him and now you wish to say last goodbye to his cold body.
Anyway, when you unravel the old memories again..when you put flowers on his grave then a helpless, apathetic and upset voice will rise from his departed soul..will come his last call, the departed soul will say
We all have been witness to such situations just like me, there are many good people who are still there around you…
So the next time, if you see someone like me, go talk with him, meet him, keep him in your heart…And go to his house, shower him with presents and throw away his pills out of his window
That might give him the courage to love on that might help him take the decision to be happy
Then maybe, this might give you a reason to do good in the list of his friendship, your name might be on the top..
We know all these things, but today it was due for me to remind you all because I can
So that you will not have to go to someone’s funeral and say that
He was a good man…..

-Spill poetry

Wake up to reality!

Waking up to reality makes one realize nothing ever goes as planned in this accursed world. The longer you live, the more you realize that the only things that truly exist in this reality is merely pain, suffering and futility. Listen, everywhere you look in this world, wherever there is light, there will always be shadows to be found as well. As long as there is a concept of victors, the vanquished will also exist. The selfish intent of wanting to preserve peace, initiates war and hatred is born in order to protect love. There are nexuses casual relationships that cannot be separated.

The conundrum of an ideal definition of beauty

The conundrum of beauty is searching for the real definition of beauty.
What is beauty? We glaum around the edges of the question as if trying to get a hoof on a cloud. Define beauty? One may as well dissect a soap bubble. We know it when we see it or think that way per say. At its worst, beauty discriminates. Usually, attractive people make more money, get called on more often in class, receive lighter court sentences, and are perceived as friendlier.

We do judge a book by its cover and that’s the saddest reality we face in the world! It’s only in the eye of the beholder. Pretty is as pretty does.

Man of your choice…

Have a man who knows what self esteem is. Don’t fall for that whimp who goes on his knees to propose to you whilst being a silly male chauvinist whose idea of equality is light years away from the very thought and premise of it. Men who cannot treat women as equal are firstly the ones who believe that they are superior. Women needn’t prove their valour, might and  substance to such galoots who have come as chickpeas from a woman’s womb.

For the majority of the world that rants and ridicules womanity for all her forms- An irate mother, a nagging wife, a pesky girlfriend and so on, the irony is that the world is a horrivle place today because of the atrocities men commit. And WOMEN bearing with them all.

There exist a class of men, who beg to think differently. Who stand up for women because they know their worth. Who won’t lick boots once to rant later. Call him your MAN, but only when you find him.

The reality!

It’s preposterous to even think of it now that Sita was then opportuned to choose her groom. Her descendants, however, have a different story to say.

The prevailing opinion of the society doesn’t go beyond the regressive thoughts of one settling down within the predominating caste system or religion methodology.

Love alone is infallible and holy. Whatever is insufficient in love is ugly and unholy. Loveless marriages, no matter how orthodox, are unholy and demonic, even if solemnised by the most grandiose Pandits, Popes etc. Caste, religion, itself, becomes a curse when it rejects love in favour of hate. Believing that love is the ultimate force to be prevailed as Love is God.

Set yourself free!

Its difficult when an exuberant person with copious thoughts try to emancipate it by annihilating them lest to vent out his anguish hitherto. Sometimes we don’t intend to realise that we thwart ourselves by hoodwinking with so called prognosis of others. (⊙＿⊙)

The question arises here is, it is really worth to do so? The act of emancipation might be self destructive or constructive. Setting yourself free from the thoughts can only let you live your life peacefully!!! ＼(^o^)／

Memories…..

*Take this Anti-depressant*, he said as he handed her a tablet strip.
A minute later, she found herself mumbling *This would have worked, had it not been for the
retaliation from Music, Fragrances, Letters….*
She realized that no anti-depressant could alleviate her pain, as long as these triggers strived to keep
her MEMORIES alive.

Be a rebel for a cause

The neurophysiological experience of satisfaction you get when you rip apart the shit out of the people and obliterate it completely and then you hand over the tag of “Slubberdeguillon” to those who tried to tag you with it once. The biggest lesson learnt in life, “No matter what, stand for yourself. Opening yourself to the world is somehow risky, as you will likely have to deal with haters–and similar kind of despicable people. You’ll be judged, irrespective of your nature and work. You will be judged anyway.”

But you know what? You shouldn’t care. Being “different” is hard and difficult. You have to fight conformism all the time. But this difference is what makes you stand out of the crowd. Haters are gonna hate. All are here to sit and watch, to get entertained. You have to fight your own battle, to each his own! So don’t let other people put you down because they are jealous, or because they don’t understand who you are or what you try to do. Kick them out of your backyard. Ignore them, focus and act on yourself. Spread love and peace, not hate

Pain of one sided love

Looking for the reason, why it had to happen to me,
I was already happy in life, why did God put me through this pain, I just can’t see.

Can’t find an answer, am still wondering why,
When, Why, How I am not sure,
It just happened in a fly.
…
Had no idea what lay ahead,
A beautiful feeling was waiting at the corner,
Had no idea the same road I go daily,
Would lead me to someone to bond forever.

I met him just for cure and never had a thing,
Sessions went by and he talked, on matters that he wished.
I never talked much, just responded to his talks,
I was just concerned about my health,
Never ever stared at his wall clock.

Over time the relation got easy,
I too got out of my timid shell,
Liked him as a doc and as a person,
But it was slowly casting a spell.

It was just one of his simple talks,
And my eyes got stuck in his,
Though I looked away before being lost,

My heart beat made a miss.
Now the same clock runs damn fast,
Now the sessions seem to end so soon,
Now my heart pounds out of my body,

Now I wish to stay a minute longer in that room.
Now those couches and that chair, those stairs and that clock,
All seem so lovely, all seem to be mine.

Now the same road looks so beautiful,
And I am always humming tunes,
There’s an unexplained joy in me now,

As I feel same vibes coming from you.
Still I felt it’s mere attraction,

Will be “out of sight out of mind” with end of sessions,
But God had planned beyond that,

One day as he inquired about my health as usual,
I looked at him simply to reply,
All got blank and I was lost,
As if my soul left me and rose to fly .
I couldn’t hear what he was asking,
I don’t know what I replied,
I could no longer feel my body,
I could no longer see anything that surround.
All I could see were his deep eyes, which were staring into mine,
All I could see were white clouds, floating all around.

I never felt that cloud thing ever in life before,

But it was something surreal, so magical and so pure.
It feels as it was just yesterday, each moment lives in me till date,
I try hard to get off, my heart is always in that state.

I cried and cried for hours wondering what’s happening and why,
Please God don’t trap me in all this, but it was too late to let go by.
I tried hard to shoo away all thoughts, I tried to lock my mind,
I fought with myself hard enough, all efforts seemed to defy.
I finally gave in, wondering, how I would go through this pain,

One sided emotions are always painful, and one has nothing to gain.
That day on, I could talk no more,
And he stopped talking too,
My eyes had said all for sure,
He showered rudeness all throughout.
He turned cold and indifferent,
Rudeness is all he had to give,
He was trying to show he wasn’t interested,

I got more and more submissive.
But still I felt in all that silence, our eyes did all the talk,
I wanted to say don’t be rude please,
I already am struggling with myself a lot.
I too don’t want to entangle in this at all,
I’m already fighting and asking God why,
Your rudeness is tearing me to the core,
My heart screams and I somehow hold the cry.

Each day, I enacted I’m fine,
Quietly going through the sessions,
But there were thunderous emotions inside me,
Guilt, embarrassment, pain and obsession.
Why do you have to be rude, I didn’t ever say a word,
There’s no place for emotions, in his heart so cold.
I just need a special place, or may be a special bond,
Or just respect my feelings, but you took me all wrong.

I could take no more of his rudeness and I decided to leave for good,
I looked him in his eyes and said I could come no more.
He looked through my eyes to read what he could,
But I just smiled & left that day, my eyes said all for sure.
Come for one last checkup next week, was all he had to say, I knew I wouldn’t come, or else never would be able to leave thy.

He’s on with his life as usual,
But I’m struggling even today,
Sometimes strong sometimes week,
Crying to myself each day.
I am just a gone patient and not in his mind near and far,
I still have those moments so fresh that time can’t mar,
Now I realize the vibes that I thought were yours,
Were actually my vibes coming back to me,
It tears me apart to think of it all,
Helpless and depressed, as could be.
I try to be strong enough and dig myself in work,
I try to keep busy, so you don’t linger on me 24X7.

I live you each minute, I live you each second,
He must be on his work, he must be on his way home,
I used to be with him by this time, I am still lost in my memory lane,
I wish to catch a glimpse of you whenever I see a model of your car,
I hope to meet you someday, if my luck is at par.

My tears follow me in markets,
In malls and parks and places,
They come out every now and then, the pain is just drastic.
Though you are just a few miles away,
I will never come back to see you,
You never respected my feelings,
Just showed cold attitude and rudeness all throughout.

I keep asking God, why having emotions is sometimes a sin,
I never asked for anything, I never said a thing.
Why can’t I get a chance to show him what I’m going through,
Why can’t I keep a bond that lasts a lifetime.

If you ever come across these lines,
And recognize me and realize it’s for you,
Please remember actions can be wrong,

But emotions are always true.
My actions were never wrong,
Nor characterless nor ever tried to entice you,
Had you not showed all that rudeness,

Even then I would just have gone quietly all through.

All I want to say is, we may not ever cross paths in life again,
You still will always hold a special place, in my life, my heart, my brain.
It’s tears again dripping, as this comes to a closing end,

Remember, emotions are never wrong, they are always God-sent.

Joy of working metaphorically

The joy of working is so “Ephemeral” that the companions who are so nitwits with feminate stratum dominate the subdue people. These kind of people lack the drive of working as a team, to support their juniors to reach the pinnacle. There will be on shrewd, cunning boss who will make you slog your asses off. Dreams of the subordinates thriving in their jobs remain as dreams only. How will the office politics ever get stopped? Will it or won’t it?